Hi Pamel:

The last post I read (sorry, I have been @ Drs. appts., testing etc., worn-out) that you and Russ may be okay, that was after he woke up.  So sorry.

You know, (please take this in the spirit it is given, from my heart) weak men are so easilly swayed by their adult children. They really don't know what they are doing......truly.  I understand this syndrome.  I really do.  We end-up feeling like we are crazy; like we did not "get the memo".

I am so glad that your Son is with you.  I hope you can move soon.  Pamel, I really think that once the "dust settles" you will be amazed at how your Spirit will be brighter; that you will say, "Wow".......I am this loving person that does not deserve to be called nasty names (so disrespectful, Russ' Son; not a man at all to talk to a lady that way).  You are walking thru some very hard times right now.  I just think you are so brave.  You give me strength.  Really.

Has anyone suggested counseling for your little Granddaughter; or do you think she will be calmer in time?  Sometimes the best counseling is just sitting on Grandma's lap or cuddling with her Dad.

I just hate that you have to suffer thru this HOT weather.  I almost passed out twice last summer when it got unbearable.  We are not suppose to have any "window-type" AC's in, but I put one in my bedroom window anyway.  No one has said a thing.  So we put it in this year, too.  We Fibro sufferers just get sicker if it is too hot or too cold; and not being able to open your windows to get a little cool air is criminal.  I just don't understand people.  Karma will visit them and it won't be good.

Bless you Pamel.  Keep posting.  You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

Big Gentle Hugs,

Gayle :)

Dear Gayle: Thanks for your prayers that are needed and very much appreciated. My grand-daughter just needs time to adjust. However, we will all need to move again and she'll once more have to re-adjust. She is either having nightmares or something since she awakens at 1:30 a.m. every morning screaming and does it for nearly 2 hrs. She is nearly inconsolable even by her daddy. We have no idea what her mother did to her.

I know I can survive thru this - I have survived thru being raped three times in my life. Also being abused. This is not like any of those times--this is a broken heart as Russ was my one true love and soul mate. However, sometimes we are not meant to have love for a lifetime. There must be something more important God has in store for me to do is all I can think of.

Russ called earlier this afternoon he is coming by tomorrow. I believe it is to discuss what furniture and things he wants. I can't think of any other reason for him to come by. I really have mixed feelings about seeing him. I do want to say goodbye to him in person but am afraid of  crying. I don't want to cry nor beg. I will ask God to give me the strength I need for his visit. I asked him over the phone if he was interested in going to marriage counseling. He said that's not an option. I knew then he's not coming to tell me he wants to try. He still wants a divorce. He went to his first counseling session today.

Thanks,

pamel