Pamel, This is the poem I talked about in another post.  Much to my surprise it was in the Positive Thoughts website today where I find all the beautiful stuff and pictures.  I understand this is such a difficult time.  Divorce and separation are difficult no matter what the circumstance is.  My mother sent this poem to me when I was going through my divorce.  I have kept it for years and years.  I am re-reading it over and over now with my current relationship problems.  I have pondered... Is he chaining my soul?  I hope you will find at least some comfort in this. 

I truly hope your husband will get the help.  And also you Pamel.  Gayle mentioned therapy for your granddaugher and what a great idea.  Also, how about you?  You have been through a very devistating experience and don't expect to just "get over it."  While relocating to UT may be a good fresh start, the memories of the past may haunt you.  You may not ever understand why your husband is letting his children into your relationship and you may never get an answer to this question.  You will have to find your own answers within.  It is most certainly not because of your shoulder surgery.  Whatever was going on with your husband was going on within him and had nothing to do with YOU.  You did not cause this.  I hope you will consider therapy.

Therapy with my husband is either going to make or break our relationship.  This is a very scary time for me.  I have been with this man for over 18 years.  I am hoping it will help, but I will not let him chain my soul and I will not lean, his company may not be my security.  I do not want to live a life dependent on him.   If I am not happily married and he me.  I would rather go back to work and manage on my own.

Bless you Pamel

Lucy

After a While...

Thank you Lucy: For the beautiful Poem and words. Russ and I are both responsible for our marriage not working out. We both took advantage of one another. Yet, not one day went by that we didn't go to bed without telling each other we loved one another---even if we had argued---we usually talked it out enuf to where we could say "I love you' at bedtime. I guess that's why I was so shocked about the events that took place this time. I should have done more to stop him from leaving. I should have done something.......if only I had not.....it is partially my fault. I know.

I understand your poem. I've written a few. Too tired to post one now.

going to bed.

pamel